Human Interest

Killing the Green-Eyed Monster

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People come into our lives for a myriad of reasons. None of us is in exactly the same place as another person. Even when there are similarities in one station of a person’s life, it can be vastly different in another. It is so easy to look at another person and envy what they have, resent how far they’ve come, or begrudge their success. There are a few things wrong with this thinking. Let’s explore it.

 

For starters, although we are not all starting at the same place or have access to the same resources, what we do have in common is a universal God who operates according to universal principles. What makes this such a powerful tool to hold on to is the fact that the laws and power of the universe work for anyone who is willing to use them. Think on that for a moment. You may not have been born into a family of wealth or means. There may be no trust fund with your name on it. You may not have any formal education, and may even be from a family where for generations education has been denied or not sought out. However, none of this matters in the grand spectrum of how life operates. While it may take you longer to get as far as the person born or married into a family of wealth and privilege, I am a firm believer that as we continue on this life’s journey, everything we need is on our paths just waiting on us to get there.

 

Another aspect of begrudging others what is theirs is this: How do we know what we can have or aspire to if we don’t see it first? The very one’s being looked at through eyes of longing, or even envy, are there to show you that you too can have what they have. Don’t despise the person who has a long, lasting happy marriage or the person with the large publishing contract or the person who has risen from rags to riches. Instead look at their lives and know that if you can see it, you can achieve it. They are there to motivate you, not discourage you. So be encouraged today, Beloved, and know that the universe is orchestrating on your behalf…even right now!

green eye monster

Finally, and probably the most important reason it is not okay to envy those who have more than you is this: you cannot receive from one whom you envy. The person may be willing to share everything they know, but your negative feelings towards them will keep you from receiving all that is available to you. Do you want to know what the biggest difference is between you and the person who has what you want? It is simply they know something you don’t know.  That may seem so simplistic, however, that is the piece of the puzzle many people miss. Instead of studying the person, requesting a meeting to talk to the person, or doing some research, they get stuck in their own negative feelings and forget to do the basics. The answer you need is staring you right in the face. Wonder what it is? It is simply asking for answers to the things you don’t know.

 

There is power in a person’s testimony. How often do we allow others to just sit down and tell us their story, without interrupting? There is much to be learned, to be gleaned, from being in the presence of other’s greatness and truly listening. Each day we are presented with opportunities to learn something. Not all learning is done in a classroom with chalk and chalkboard. Some of the most significant lessons we learn in life are the ones we happen upon. No, I don’t believe in happenstance. I think that God is far too strategic in his dealings with us to allow random things to happen. For everything that transpires, for everyone we meet, there is something we are to get from the experience.

 

What does this have to do with you and envy? Allowing yourself to be stuck in envy cuts off the flow of learning, the flow of blessings. It is like clogging up the pipes of your life meant to bring blessings, knowledge, and wisdom and filling them instead with tar or sludge. Eventually it slows down, or even stops altogether, what can be received. The wisdom and knowledge of life is available to us all. We must only reach out and grab it. It requires being willing to put pride and ego aside and accept that we don’t know everything. It means we will have to be the student instead of the teacher sometimes. It means that we will have to ask the questions and learn from someone else more knowledgeable than we are.

 

The person who has that thing you want has much more than the coveted object of your desire. What they have is wisdom how to get it. Their wisdom is priceless.

 

The next time you see someone who is flowing in a space far beyond where you are, don’t automatically look at them and see the item as out of reach. Instead, stop and ask yourself what is it that they know that you don’t know. If the person happens to be a celebrity or hard to reach public figure type, fear not. Many of these people have biographies and autobiographies you can read. More than likely there are a number of articles and interviews that you can watch or read to learn more about them. Start there. Learn what you can about the person and their journey, then see what lessons they’ve endured that you can apply to your life. When you are comfortable, perhaps you can request to have a meeting with the person. It may or may not be the highest profile person, but is there someone local who has a similar thing? If so, reach out to them. You’d be surprised at who is willing to share time and wisdom with you. They may be willing to give you an hour of their time. And for those that are willing, don’t squander it by talking about yourself. This is a chance to your to sit at the feet of a master and learn.  Have a list of questions ready to ask them about the subject you desire. Take notes. Really listen to what they are saying. Thank them for their time, and then follow up with a written thank you note.

 

If you are wondering is it important to do all of that. My question to you is: how badly do you want it? You can’t do what you’ve always done and get a different result. In order to see change, you must first change. So go ahead and invest in yourself by studying the lives and habits of those who have succeeded in an area where you desire to. You can do it.

 

The first place to start is by putting your envy and negative emotions aside so that you may acknowledge there is something that you need to learn. Then do it. You are worth the effort it takes to change. You are worth the effort it takes to make your dreams come true!

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author of fiction and nonfiction works, book publisher, media personality and motivational speaker. Her timely messages of hope and inspiration are highly sought out. She offers practical instruction of living one’s best, most authentic life. Tumika is changing lives one word at a time! Connect with Tumika at www.TumikaPatrice.comwww.InkscriptionsPMG.com

Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author of fiction and nonfiction works, book publisher, media personality and motivational speaker. Her timely messages of hope and inspiration are highly sought out. She offers practical instruction of living one’s best, most authentic life. Tumika is changing lives one word at a time! Connect with Tumika at www.TumikaPatrice.com.

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